Week Fifteen - Why Do I Feel Like This?

Do you ever feel broken inside?  Like there’s a rift of sorrow going across your soul as shattered fragments fall away landing with sharp pricks on raw, unhealed places.  You look whole and happy on the outside and keep trying to convince yourself you are, but inside there’s brokenness, confusion, wonderment, and the fear of being found out.  Or, the desire for rest and freedom from haunting doubt and unresolved questions? You are not whole.

There is a commercial about mental health here in England that asks, “What is normal?”  It concludes that there are millions of forms of normal dependant on many factors: the type of person you are, where you live, what you have experienced. Normal isn’t a consistent definition.

Here’s God’s truth.  We live in a fallen world.  We, ourselves, are fallen, too.  Brokenness is all around us—that is normal.

Once I came to understand this truth, I found much peace!  The more I read my Bible, the more I began to see that every person, since the angel stood at the entrance to Eden, experiences these feelings.  Satan tries to convince us we are odd, or no one else would understand, but the truth remains that all humanity is in the same boat.  We are all normal.  Broken, as a result of Adam’s choice.  We cannot escape it.

So, what can we do with it?  Well, we can succumb to it.  We can let our brokenness overtake us, creating depression, psychosis, and fear or we can accept it and allow God to deliver us.

When I feel my brokenness trying to overcome my sanity, I go straight to the book of Romans. I don’t sit around arguing my goodness.  I admit my weakness.  Romans 7:18, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing.”  I am a sinner, faulty, normal—a normal sinner.  Satan’s accusing voice leaves.  He knows I am standing in truth.  There is nothing more he can say!

But I don’t stop there.  Though I am no good, if you will, I am not left there.  Romans 7:24 is my next step.  “O wretched man that I am!  Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” 

Do you know the meaning of wretched?  It has the idea of worthless, inadequate, inferior, miserable, heartbroken, and distressed.  All the words Satan throws at me!  And all the feelings I experience. I need someone to help me!

Romans 7:25 tells me a man is there for my rescue.  “I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  He delivers me.  He helps me.  He fights my cause.  He restores me.  He forgives when I call on Him.

His grace and love heal my heart, and I become accepted, forgiven, valuable, and made adequate.  I come boldly to the throne recounting my misery, broken heart, and distress to Him as a child of God to have my “normalcy” restored.

But beyond that, though I live in this fallen world, and still battle my flesh, I know the blood of Christ has covered my sin, and I can now choose to live above sin, above the taunting voices of Satan and my own weaknesses, because of the sacrifice of Christ applied to my heart. 

For me, then, brokenness is reduced to a fact.  It is just where I live; it no longer defines me. There is no condemnation upon me.  I have been made free, and walk in Christ.  That, I choose to be my new normal!

These days of extraordinary pressure might be God’s tool to bring you to understand your brokenness, your vulnerability, your wretchedness, your need of a Saviour.  The story of Easter provides you a vivid example of the love of God for you.  There is no better time to admit your need and call upon Him for healing and forgiveness.  You can read more about it below.

“I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me:

and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God,

who loved me, and gave himself for me.” 

Galatians 2:21

If you need a Saviour:  Admit your need.  Believe Christ is the only one who can forgive and heal your sin. Confess your trust in Him.  And then, share your decision with others!

If you need encouragement: On the Beside the Well blog page and Facebook page you will find videos of support for these days, please take time to listen. I pray they strengthen your heart.