David and Bruce McArthur wrote, "Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively."
Being in an "emotional stranglehold," choked by unforgiveness, revenge, or resentment, is not a very happy prospect. I've been there. I'm sure you have, too. As we struggle to find a way to forgive or try and try to make things right, we battle with doubt and insecurity. We muse over what could have been, what could have been said, what was or wasn't done, and we draw the strangling cord tighter and tighter until we are, as God's Word puts it, in a "stronghold."
We reach for every fleshly weapon we can find. Revenge, blaming, guilt, fear, anger, victim-mentality, and all sorts of emotional responses become our fellow combatants as we try to justify our unforgiveness. I hope you see the little key as you read the quote above. Holding on to unforgiveness or being afraid to grant forgiveness only tightens the choke hold. The only way to get released is to let it go.
God says, "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:4.)
Carnal weapons are those of the flesh, based on our lusts and desires. We want things to be even and right in our eyes. We want it to work out our way. The book of James is straightforward when it talks about these fights and wars we have with each other. It concludes that we struggle because of our own lusts. And what does that mean? It's a way of saying we refuse to forgive because we want to be the winner; we don't want to lose face. That is pride. Very simply put, pride is a work of the flesh.
We might feel the need to defend ourselves or find reasons as to why we won't or can't forgive, but God says they don't hold water with Him. Forgiveness is a command. As He forgave us, we are to forgive others, period.
So, if we aren't going to use carnal weapons, what weapons can we use to pull down strongholds and release the stranglehold of unforgiveness?
Let's take one passage from God's Word to describe our arsenal. I'll highlight each weapon as you read through Ephesians 6:14-18
"Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.'
Are those weapons fully active in your Christian life? If so, they will lead you to freedom from the chains.
Another way to read this passage is to look at the actions of our warfare. Standing, girding, putting on, being shod, taking up, quenching, praying always, and being watchful are stances of the Christian ready to obey God's command to forgiveness.
Dear friend, there is no reason to be choked by an emotional stranglehold with these weapons and instruction at your disposal. There is no excuse God will receive from you. He is looking for your faith and obedience. Are you ready to cut yourself loose and stop being choked? Then, put on your armor, take up your weapons, break the chains of emotional strangleholds, and forgive.
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