Week Thirty-Three - Fickle and Forgiven

Beside the Well

“Because they believed not God, and trusted not in his salvation.”  Psalm 78:22

            Psalm 78 is an indictment of Israel’s fickle and unstable faith.  Though God had made every effort to prove Himself, they refused to recognize Him as totally able to provide.  They didn’t believe Him.  They did not wholly trust him.  They forgot He was their Rock and Redeemer (v. 35).  Over and over they chose to thwart God's work among them by seeking help and solace in the nations surrounding them.  They tempted and provoked God by their unbelief and disobedience (v. 56, 58). 

            God, on the other hand, showed compassion and remembered they were but flesh (v. 38).  Verse 72 is one of my favorites, with His integrity and skill He continued to feed them and guide them.

            Standing where we are now, we can see God always worked on their behalf and wonder why they were so doubtful.  But put the shoe on the other foot, and we have to come to grips with the fact that we, like Israel, are often fickle and unbelieving.  We fail to remember what God has done for us in the past.  We look for every avenue of help around us, and forget the faithfulness of our God.  We wonder if He is really true to His Word; if He will actually keep His promises.  We frustrate the grace of God with our continual doubt.

            Understanding how God works can be quite a challenge and we might struggle for answers, but the truth stands.  God is always working for the good of His children according to His will and plan, even if they doubt.

            I found this prayer recorded in my journal from a time when I had read Psalm 78.  “Oh Lord, I don’t want to be like Israel, forgetting your goodness, doubting your power, or giving you half-hearted service.  My sin is before me and is breaking my spirit.  I have brought it to You and been forgiven, but fear reigns in my heart as I wonder how You can solve my problem.  I know nothing is too big for You.  Nothing is impossible if I will only choose to believe You and trust Your integrity and skill. 

            I do that again right now.  I believe You know all things.  You know where I am today and where I will be ten years from now.  You will not forsake me.  I want to trust You.  I must trust You.  I have no strength of my own.

            I pray You can take the mess I have made and turn it for Your glory.  As I look at all You have provided for me, how can I doubt or fail to trust Your love and care for me.  I am ashamed of my own weak faith.

            I look forward to the day when I can shout Your praise at the end of this trial.  Yet, I need not wait.  I can shout Your praise now because Your goodness is always evident around me.”     

            We serve a God of integrity and wisdom.  When we are weak, He is strong.  When we doubt, He remains faithful.  When we are confused, He knows the way.  When we fail, He forgives and restores.  Our God is never fickle.  We can trust Him fully.

Week Thirty-One - The Refining

Beside the Well

            The woman at the well was amazed as the Lord looked straight through her life exposing all she was.  Yet, his examination did not drive her away. Rather, it drew her to the water of life and motivated her to bring others also. 

            My time at the well has brought similar examinations as I am brought face to face with my failures, weaknesses and insecurities.  Graciously, the Lord has used those times to draw me closer to Himself.

            The Bible uses the refining of precious metal to illustrate the process of sanctification.  By fire, the precious metal is heated and the impurities are brought to the surface.  The refiner scraps away the dross until he can see his reflection without distortion.

            As I visualize the image of the refiner looking into the pot of heated silver, I fail to see myself as the valuable liquid.  I don’t see myself as that precious or valuable. I grimace as I feel the dross churning in my life: the dross of fear, unbridled thoughts and prejudices, insensitivity and intolerance, subtle disobedience and insincerity.  I am confronted with my humanity and my spiritual anemia.  I recoil and go back to my safe place as a distant observer.  But, I want to be that beautiful Christian.  I want my Saviour’s pleasure, His smile, and approval.

            How is it that I can oscillate between confidence and fear, assuredness and insecurity?  Am I double-minded?  I don’t think so.  Am I unstable?  That is hardly a definition that would be used of me.  Yet inside is a child, a fearful and needy child.  I need God’s hug.  I need to hear from His Word—the source of all my strength, comfort and confidence.  And, I need to focus my thoughts on truth instead of self-focused condemning evaluations.  I need the fire of purification.

            Mullygrubbing (a British term for being disgruntled and full of self pity) does not produce health in my life.  Better to recognize that in me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing.   

            The life that I now live is not lived in the flesh, but in the Spirit.  That old dead man may still cry out for attention, but he will be purged.  The new man will continue to take precedence because greater is He that is in me.  Praise God!

            If and when things need to change in my life, my loving Father will not hold back.  He will tell me straight up and I will hear Him clearly.  Then, I face the choice of obedience.

            So, as I peer into the seething cauldron, I need not fear.  My Saviour is looking at it with me.  He isn’t afraid of what He sees, for it is all seen through the shadow of the cross and the lens of His blood.  He is creating a pure image of Himself through my life.  I want to yield to the process.

Week Thirty - The Furnace of Affliction

Beside the Well

            No one likes hard times.  We usually fear them.  We don’t like the unknown or feeling out of control. We especially don’t like being vulnerable. 

            However, in Christ we don’t have to fear.  We can go through hard times with an upheld head.

            Commenting on Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego being thrown into the fiery furnace, Charles Spurgeon calls attention to the fact that God was also in the furnace as he wrote, “As sure as God puts His children in the furnace He will be in the furnace with them.” 

            His name is Immanuel – God with us.  We need to remember that in every trial our Immanuel is with us.  We are not alone. 

            As I faced radiotherapy last year I recorded in my journal, “I have so much for which to be thankful – it makes me feel irritated that I am even concerned about this upcoming treatment.  From all I read it is going to knock out my energy.  I am feeling so good that I hate to return to being weak.  But, if that is the path God has for me I will survive much better by relaxing into the path He has for me at this time.  Health will return more quickly if I don’t resist and allow emotional frustration to rob me of joy and hope.  The storm on the outside will reveal what is on the inside – and inside is a happy motivated person who is sure of God’s love and care, but one who is simply fearful of the unknown process that lies ahead.”

From there I went on in my journal to list truths that must reign in my heart as I face my fear of the unknown:

1)   God is already there. 

2)   Fear is a waste of energy.

3)   My times are in His hands. 

4)   He sees every day in its entirety. I can only do moment by moment.  So, I need to relax and do today leaving tomorrow to Him.

5)   Through all of this— He should have the glory.

            Surely those truths were deep in the heart of the Hebrew children as they faced the furnace.  Isaiah 48:10 says, “Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”  They must have known it was a trial of their faith.  They wanted to pass the test so they acted in courage instead of fear.

            The furnace of affliction need not be feared—God is with us through every affliction to accomplish a purpose.  We truly come out the better as we realise this truth and face our afflictions.

 “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.“  I Peter 5:10-11

            To him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. 

Spurgeon: izquotes.com/quote/383552

Week Twenty-Eight -Ruts

Beside the Well

            There I was, resigned to ruts going through the motions of life with the same sad attitude.  Every day was a trudge through the mud with no hope of knocking off the clods clinging to my shoes.  Dishes waited to the washed.  Floors were marked with the trail of trips through the garden.  Scatter pillows lay strewn around the living room.  My to-do list was screaming for my attention leaving me feeling that doing these same things over and over was an exercise in futility.

            I went to my quiet place and turned to my Bible to search for answers.  Why do I feel this way?  How do I get out of this rut?  How do I knock off the things that are weighing me down and making me feel like I have been dragged through the dirt?  If Jesus came to give us life more abundantly, where is that life?  Where is that victorious overcoming?  Where is that peaceful rest?

            Oh, but when God answered me, I was not ready!  I found myself face to face with truth.  I was living life detached from the Vine. My to-do list had become my priority.  The life I was looking for was not found in the things around me, but in a relationship with my Saviour.  God’s word reminded me that attachment is more than a safety net or bungee cord.  It is meant to produce fruit.  It holds promise of answered prayer and glorification of the Father.  And the real cut was—these three precede my attainment of any real joy.  I was looking for temporal fun garnished with laughter and frivolity thinking it would lift me out of the ruts, but the way out was going to be through loving obedience.

            That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  I wanted Christ to give me relief and make life easy—fun.  I wanted Him to make me happy without requiring anything on my part.  I wanted to be free to laugh and live without these repetitive ruts.  But life is real. 

            And so is He.  The only way to experience lasting joy in life is to grab hold of the Vine.  Through Him, strength and joy will flow.  Fruit will be produced and joy with be a part of my life.  My prayers will be answered and God will be glorified.  The joy I am seeking is found in the eternal—not the temporal.

            “Okay, so I am guilt of doing life as if it all depended on my strength.  I had detached myself from the Vine and the energy and direction it provides.  I hear you, Lord, so how do I start to look at life differently?” 

            He wasn’t far behind with the answer that question.  My sight needed adjusting.  “But thou. O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head” (Psalm 3:3).  “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from when cometh my help (Psalm 121:1).

            While I was looking down and around at all the mess and demands, I was found guilty again.  I was not looking up to where the real help could come.  I was taking the whole burden of life upon myself as if I had to solve all of life’s problems, meet all of life’s demands, and come out with a smile.  That’s not reality. 

            The practice of looking up was something I had learned before, but had failed to continue to practice.  I knew looking around with fear and worry was not obedience.  I needed to look up.  I needed to adjust my eyes above the temporal, horizontal plain.

            Instead of bowing my head in prayer, I can look up with my palms upward and open.  When I do my prayer walk, I can talk with God looking to the skies instead of the weeds along the pavement.  When I awake of a morning I can grab hold of the Vine and look up to Him before I start with my list of things to do, situations to handle, and frets of the day.  As I look up, my spirit is lifted from the drudgery of life into a special place—a place of comfort, assurance and hope.

            Suddenly, the day seems less daunting, hope is restored and I find a new zeal in everything.  Matter of fact, I always find the day goes much smoother and I enjoy my to-do list!  At the end of the day I crawl into bed giving God the glory and rest my head with a joyful and peaceful heart. 

            Maybe you are wandering around in the doldrums.  Grabbing hold of the Vine and adjusting your sights to a higher plain are two techniques worth considering.

Week Twenty-Seven - The Only Person in the World

Beside the Well

               The experience of the Christian is unlike anything this world can offer.  The world screams for our attention.  God gives attention.  The world is crowded and noisy. God singles us out and gives us peace.  The world pulls us every which way.  God invites us to the single, narrow way.  The world presses and stresses.  God gives rest.  The world plunges headlong into turmoil. God orders our steps aright. 

               Bro Lawrence spoke of his soul being lifted up above all earthly matter.  He was at rest with God as His center and constant companion.  His soul was full of joy as he “feels that only God and he are in the world, with Him he holds unbroken converse, asking from Him the supply of all his needs, and finding in His Presence fullness of joy.” (p 77)

               And then he said, “All that passes without concerns the soul no more than a fire of straw, which the more it flares, the sooner burns itself out, and rarely indeed do the cares of this world ever intrude to trouble the peace that is within….” (p 78)

               I, too, have found there are times when it feels like I am the only one in the world God is noticing.  He is speaking privately and singularly to me.  I have his complete attention. But, oh, that my every moment were filled with the experience of this truth.  To see the cares of this life just go up in smoke.  To be constantly aware that God is particularly, individually, and purposefully with me, beside me, and listening to me.  I know this is true in my head, but, oh, to make it a part of my daily practice.  To make it more than head knowledge or even heart knowledge.  To be consistently functioning inside this truth.  To allow God to lift me up into His arms and speak peace to my soul—sweet communion.

               There are some special Scriptures that come to mind as I meditate on this thought.  Acts 17:78 “In him we live and move and have our being.” Philippians 1:21 “for to me, to live is Christ.” Colossians 2:10 “ye are complete in him.”  Isaiah 27:3 “I will water it every moment.“ Psalm 139:18 He thinks of me “more in number than the sand.” Acts 17:27 “he be not far from every one of us.” 

               The challenge I face today is to listen closer to the sound of His voice than the noise of the world around me.

Lawrence, Brother, Practicing the Presence of God and the Spiritual Maxims, Dover Publications, Mineola, New York, 2005.