Week Forty-Five - The Bigger Slice of Cake

Oh, how I hated giving my sister the bigger slice of cake! But my mother often talked about putting others first as a sign of maturity. 

When my sister and I fought over who got to sit in the front passenger seat, my mother would say, "The more mature will give way." I'd take the back seat because I was the oldest and wanted to be considered the more mature. Even though I felt begrudging, I also felt proud of myself for letting her have the front seat and, sometimes, even the bigger slice of cake. 

Learning self-denial can be untasteful, but it is a life skill necessary for happiness and fulfillment. The greedy, narcissistic, and selfish child never feels complete and rarely finds any deep level of happiness or satisfaction because they are always looking for what they might have missed out on or who got more than themselves.

Sadly, the quality of self-denial seems lost in our society and rarely displayed, even by our public leaders. Our pulpits and classrooms are full of teaching on self-worth, self-promotion, and identity based on the idea that giving to others is only beneficial when we also benefit from it ourselves. That is far from Biblical teaching.

Philippians 2:3 tells us to "esteem others better than ourselves." Isn't that a crazy thought? To view others as more important than ourselves? To think of their needs and value ahead of our own? To lift them up ahead of ourselves? To give them the front seat or the biggest slice of cake? How in the world would that help us get ahead in life?

Let me suggest two benefits. First, we would gain respect. Most people admire and appreciate a thoughtful person. Using manners like opening doors for ladies or giving someone your place in line or your seat causes people to take notice. Kindness breeds kindness, and respect is earned, not demanded. So, maturity means giving place to another.

Another benefit of self-denial is an inner knowledge of goodness. A little verse in Proverbs 14:14 says, "A good man shall be satisfied from himself." Knowing we have done right and not been greedy or grabbing gives us a feeling of goodness. We see ourselves as good people because we show our goodness in action to others.

Let me add another benefit of self-denial: It tends to self-control. For example, we have not learned self-denial until we say no to things like overeating, overspending, or speeding. There is a level of maturity that calls us to submit to the law, especially God's law.

Elizabeth Elliot wrote, "The earlier the parents begin to make the laws of order and beauty and quiet comprehensible to the children, the sooner they will acquire good, strong notions of what is so basic to real godliness - self-denial. A Christian home should be a place of peace; there is no peace where there is no self-denial."

Let's return to Proverbs 13:10. "Only by pride cometh contention, but with the well-advised is wisdom."

A lack of self-denial is pride. It is putting oneself first. And what does the Proverbs say is the result? Contention. Contention is fighting, opposition, and struggle. 

And oh, how my sister and I could fight when we didn't want the other one to have first place when our pride drove our decisions and actions. We've all been there. We've all worn the T-shirt. Haven't we?

But what is the second part of that verse? "With the well advised is wisdom?" How thankful I am for a mother who gave me good advice. 

Being willing to put others first and not demanding that my prideful self be given the biggest slice of cake or the biggest anything has kept me out of many problems. 

Being demanding is taxing on everyone, but thoughtful, generous people are a source of joy.

People who only think of themselves cannot be trusted. They look out for themselves, and you are not in their equation. Self-focus causes short tempers and resentment on both sides, leading to poor relationships.

God's way is different. "Give, and it shall be given unto you." "Don't think of yourself more highly than you ought." Condescend - give way for others. Share what you have. Look to the way of others - not for gain, but to be a blessing, etc. Many more instructions in God's Word teach us the quality of self-denial.

So, take the back seat and give your neighbor, or even your sister, the bigger slice of cake!

Week Forty-Four - Come No Further

A few weeks ago, our Wednesday night lesson was about God's omnipotence, His power being limitless, consistent, and without challenge. The teacher made note of the bounds God sets even upon the seas. Their edges are controlled; otherwise, the world would be flooded. God's power holds back the tide! And He holds everything in His control.

It reminded me of one of Spurgeon's devotions about John 11:4. Lazarus is ill, and the family is calling for Jesus to come. Jesus begins to travel but is interrupted by the needs of those around him. His comment to the family is, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby."

We know the rest of the story. Jesus comes and raises Lazarus from the tomb, and many believe in Jesus, glorifying God for this miracle.

But Spurgeon, cunningly, pulls a thought from one word in Jesus' statement - unto. There is a restraint, a limit beyond which a thing cannot go, a point, and a purpose in the activity. God's "fixed purpose is not the destruction, but the instruction of His people," Spurgeon says. "Wisdom hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the heat."

So, let's consider three points Spurgeon makes about this limit; this come no further.

1. "The limit is encouragingly comprehensive. God's providence limits time, manner, intensity, repetition, and the effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestined, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of Him who numbers the hairs of our head.

2. This limit is wisely adjusted to our strength, to the end designed, and to the grace apportioned. Affliction is not a haphazard event - the weight of every stroke of the rod is accurately measured. He who made no mistakes in balancing the clouds and measuring out the heavens commits no errors in measuring out the ingredients which constitute the medicine of souls. We cannot allow too much nor be delivered too late.

3. The limit is tenderly appointed. The knife of the heavenly Surgeon never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary. God does not willingly afflict or grieve his children. A mother's heart cries, "Spare my child;" but no mother is more compassionate than our gracious God. When we consider how hard-mouthed we are, it is a wonder that we are not driving with a sharper bit. The thought is full of consolation, that He who has fixed the bounds of our habitation, has also fixed the bounds of our tribulation."

That last phrase stuck in my mind—"the bounds of our tribulation." We may suffer intensely and wonder why, but God knows and sets the limit. No pain, suffering, or evil intent can go any further than what He allows. He is all-powerful and fully in control of everything we experience. 

That's not to say we won't grieve or fear. Not to say we won't experience loss or intense pain. But it is to say that with God, there is a limit. It can come no further than He allows, so entrust yourself to Him. Allow Him to be glorified in whatever you are experiencing. "Wisdom (God Himself) hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the heat."

Week Forty-Three - Running Free

God's children are free to run about the house.

Joyful play is one sign of a happy home and a healthy relationship. Security, confidence, and acceptance blossom in children from happy homes, and the redeemed child of God should be the same.

God's children are free from the law, have no condemnation, are sufficient in all things, enriched to all bountifulness, living by the faith of the Son of God, who loves them and gave Himself for them. 

They are children of the free with liberty, walking worthy, edified in love, equipped and supplied by the Spirit, raised to sit in heavenly places, striving together for the faith of the gospel, filled with fruits of righteousness, able to do all things through Christ, always rejoicing, complete in Him, forgiven, able to stand perfect and complete in all the will of God, etc... and we could go on and on about who we are in Christ and the privileges of being God's child. Such is our freedom.

Spurgeon said, "When Jesus comes into the heart, He issues a general license to delight in the Lord." And what does the Bible say about delighting in the Lord? "Delight thyself in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart" (Psalm 37:4). That's a tremendous promise to claim. Add the promise of Psalm 84:11, "No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly," and you should be rejoicing and running free in the promises of God. 

God desires to bless His children. He delights in their joys. He loves seeing them joyful and confident because this reveals their faith and love for Him.

Happy children are a joy, aren't they? Though happiness isn't God's only goal, it is a product of His activity in our lives. And God gives more than happiness—He gives joy! A deep abiding stream of life flowing within from the fountain of life—Christ our Saviour.

God's children are marked by this evidence of joy and the expression of love to each other and those around them. How, or why, should it be any other way?

Why would God's children ever fear when He is always there as the Protector? Why would God's children ever hide when His acceptance and forgiveness are secured in Christ? Why would God's children recoil from His love when He comes without condemnation? Spurgeon said, "No chains are worn in the court of King Jesus." Amen! God's children are free!

Friend, if you know Christ, you can run about the house! I don't mean without restraint or good manners, but without fear, hiding, and shame. You are free - free indeed - in Christ. So run about your Father's house confidently, enjoying your place in the family.

Week Forty-Two - People and Peonies

"These gorgeous peonies arrived at my door Sunday afternoon. I knew who they were from as soon as I saw the box. A friend who has known my joys as well as my sorrow. A friend who has grown and blossomed with me. We have supported each other. Laughed together. Cried together. Have we always seen eye to eye? Of course not, but our goal and desire have always been the same: to love the Lord our God with all our hearts and to love our neighbor as ourselves. We haven't always gotten it right, but I know we are both thankful for the time God has given us to grow, learn, and change. To bloom where we are planted.

For the past few days, I have watched these gorgeous peonies quickly open, arrive at their fullest bloom, and then quickly begin to fade. Oh the sadness I felt on realizing their peak had already come and gone. Did I enjoy them enough in that moment? Did I appreciate their beauty as they gave me all they had? I can honestly say I did. I've sat in my living room soaking up their vibrant color, observing their open, eager faces basking in the sun. They have brought me joy these past few days. And now, even as they fade, I can see the beauty they hold. There is beauty in every phase of life if we look for it. The color has faded to a softer, gentler hue. The petals droop a little now, maybe tired from the energy they used to shine so brightly for their moment in time. Yet, I still sit here, looking long, appreciating these amazing flowers God created. I sit here, finding myself in their story. Maybe you can find yourself there, too."

These words came from RuthAnn, a precious colleague and friend I recently lost to cancer. Her journey was unexpected and mercifully short, but her influence and friendship will remain as vibrant as the flowers she enjoyed.

Friendships come in many forms. There are childhood friends, college mates, friends made at work, friends that seem only for a season, and even friends that grow estranged. Each plays a part in our lives, and we play a part in theirs. We, like the gorgeous peonies, are temporary. As brightly as we may glow in someone's life, we will droop and eventually fade. 

The precious thing about my friend and I is that we shared a mutual friend, the Lord Jesus. His friendship throughout the years, and especially during these final few months, has been the glow that carried my friend on her journey. As I write and reflect today, I know that His friendship is the only one that can carry the grieving.

Songwriter Arthur Luther wrote:

Earthly friends may prove untrue, Doubts and fears assail;
One still loves and cares for you: Jesus never fails.

Tho' the sky be dark and drear, Fierce and strong the gale,
Just remember He is near, And He will not fail.

In life's dark and bitter hour, Love will still prevail;
Trust His everlasting power; Jesus will not fail.

Jesus never fails, Jesus never fails;
Heav'n and earth may pass away,
But Jesus never fails.

RuthAnn closed her note to me with these two scriptures. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" (Matthew 6:33-34). 

And Isaiah 40:6-8, "The voice said Cry, and he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: the grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. The grass withereth the flower fadeth; but the word of our God shall stand for ever."

Dear reader friend, it is my prayer that you have loving earthly friendships to encourage you along your journey, but it is my greater prayer that you know the friend above all friends, the Lord Jesus. If you have questions, you can contact me via my website www.gailgritts.com or follow this link for more information - https://www.questionsgod.com/word-pdf/roman-road-to-salvation-kjv.pdf

Week Forty-One - Need a Lift?

Sometimes, we feel low because we are physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Other times, our lowness comes from the things happening around us, such as bad news, frustration, sadness at a friend's illness, or even the inability to keep life peaceful or without unwanted drama. Lots of things bring us down, but our Lord never does.

Psalm 3:3 tells us He is the "lifter up" of our heads. I've had to claim that promise many times when my spirit dropped to empty and my head was bowed in grief. I've always found the Lord met me there and lifted me up, placing me into His loving arms and renewing my outlook.

The Bible is full of encouragement for low times, and His Spirit has a precious way of bringing comfort and assurance when we feel low. 

Psalm 31 gives us several positive promises and truths that lift us up.

Verse 1 - He will deliver.

Verse 3 - He is our rock and fortress.

Verse 5 - He will redeem us.

Verse 7 - He knows our troubles and understands the adversity of our souls.

Verse 8 - He will not leave us in the hand of the enemy.

Verse 15 - Our times are in His hand.

What a precious promise! Our Father cares for us every moment of the day, lifting us up with His precious promises and eternal love.

Psalm 41:12 reads, "And as for me, thou upholdest me in mine integrity, and settest me before thy face for ever." God watches us always—forever!  Even when our heads hang low, and our knees are weak, He is still there beside us, ready to lend a helping hand and lift us up.

So, we can say with the psalmist, "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance" (Psalm 42:5).

Friend, you may be in a low spot right now. Remember, it is just for a moment. Take yourself to Psalm 31 and read for a while. The closing verse is yet another precious promise. "Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." It is my prayer that God would do just that for you today - lift you up and renew your strength. So, be of good courage. God knows where you are!

Week Forty - I Stopped

Several years ago, the Lord gave me a word that became a spiritual instruction. The word was enough. His Spirit said, "That is enough, Gail. Enough trying to figure things out. Enough fretting and fear. Enough trying to solve everyone else's problems or thinking you can fix things for them. Enough." 

I wish I could tell you I obeyed immediately, but I didn't. It was several months of heartache and disappointment before I decided to obey by faith. And let me tell you, I have never regretted my decision. When I stopped figuring, fretting, and fixing, I found such peace, and I began seeing God work and even answer prayer.

We are often too slow to respond when it comes to stopping. Maybe that's why we crash! Or maybe our spiritual brakes are bad, causing us to appear erratic or swerving. Learning to stop is a vital safety maneuver!

I read a post a while back where another person talked about stopping. Here's what it said.

"I once asked a very successful person to share their secret. They smiled and said, 'I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters. I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me. I stopped fighting with my in-laws. I stopped fighting for attention. I stopped fighting to meet people's expectations of me. I stopped fighting for my rights with inconsiderate people. I stopped fighting to please everyone. I stopped fighting to prove they were wrong about me. I left such fights for those with nothing else to do but fight, and I started fighting for my vision, dreams, ideas, and destiny. The day I gave up on small fights is when I became successful and so much more content.'" 

I must agree. Contentment and peace became my overriding state when I stopped and obeyed the Lord.

Why do we struggle with stopping? Let me offer a few suggestions. 

We may think no one else could solve the problem like we can. 

We may think that if we walked away from the situation, we would be perceived as not caring or loving enough. 

We might even believe our way is the right way, and if we stopped putting in our two cents or keeping our fingers in the pie, things wouldn't turn out well. 

Do you see the pride in those thoughts?

Let me give you a couple of Scriptures to consider. James 4:1-2 reads, "From whence come wars and fighting among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not."

Isn't this what we do when we refuse to listen to God's Spirit? We push and shove and try to get things to go our way. God calls that the lusts that war in our members—the desires that drive us. 

Proverbs 13:10 says, "Only by pride cometh contention." If we combine that with the verses in James and study the subject throughout the Bible, we will learn that pride is the core problem.

We don't stop because we are driven by pride. We want to look good, sound good, be perceived as the ones with the answers, and be able to solve all the problems, but that is not our place! 

You find the key when you read chapter four of James. That key is humility. Verse ten reads, "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." 

Listening and obeying when God's Spirit told me it was enough was humbling. I knew I should stop, but I feared what might happen. And you know what? None of the things I feared happened. Instead, God gave me great peace and a secure contentment that my obedience was enough. He would do the rest.

So, what do you need to stop today? Fretting? Fussing? Complaining? Fixing? There can be many things we push with a background of pride. I challenge you to go before the Lord and see what word He gives you. Then, obey by faith and let God take care of the rest.

Week Thirty-Nine - Ruth, the Gleaner

Do you know the story of Ruth? This poor girl finds herself a widow in a strange country, caring for her aging mother-in-law and gleaning grain from the corners of the field. Probably wasn't the life she'd imagined, but this is where she finds herself, and Ruth's attitude and demeanor are well worth our attention.

As we look at some of her gleaning qualities, apply them to your own in the fields of prayer, meditation, and the Word as you gather spiritual fruit.

Ruth gathered her portion bit by bit. She gained little by little. Are you content to search for single truths? Do you store them up to create a bundle of truth for your benefit? Are you consistent in your gathering?

Ruth kept her eyes open. She was watching for the precious fruit. Are you watchful? Do you see the value of the opportunities God gives you for service, and do you glean diligently with your eyes on the harvest? Are you aware of the opportunities for witnessing? Or do you walk through life without concern for others?

Ruth had to stoop for all she found. We, too, must stoop with lowly minds to glean and receive benefits. A humble heart reaches deep down for the truth, while a prideful gleaner will not. Does Bible truth seem too cheap for your attention? 

Ruth held on to what she had gathered, carefully retaining her fruits. Are you doing the same? Or do you easily forget what you hear and read? Do you understand the importance of storing up truth? 

Finally, Ruth labored with a sense of necessity. She knew that meeting her physical needs demanded this activity. Do you understand that feeding your soul on the Bread of Life is paramount to a healthy spiritual life? Do you labor in the Word or just snack?

Ruth's story doesn't leave her as a poor gleaner in a field. She meets the man of her dreams and becomes part of Christ's lineage. Those are some wonderful benefits for the girl who gleaned. God blesses those who value His Word and spend time in His field.

Revelation 1:3 reads, "Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand."

Until He comes, let's be gleaning everything we can! The blessing is assured.

NOTE: Yesterday, my friend RuthAnn Pickett went home to be with the Lord. She was a faithful gleaner and I dedicate today’s blog to her, my friend and colleague in ministry.